Jokes
You text message whilst lifting weights
Police park on the pavement..to book you for a parking offence
The first thing a police officer asks you is "what does your dad do?".
Your next door neighbour cooks "souvla" all 52 Sundays of the year.
You call everyone "koumbare"('best man')...and they probably are...
Your local hairdresser asks , 'ti les gia to sxedio anan;'
- your hairdresser has a degree in biology
- even if youve got a computer at home
- people eat all 24hrs of the day
- people go to the beach at night
- your cheek still burns from when relatives pinch it with all their might
- when everyone complains
- cats are to cypriots what pidgeons are to londoners: vermin.
- you get confused in a round-a-bout
- you cook food for a whole army when you have guest's over
- your yiayia has a picture of Makarios on the wall
- you have a relative in every Village
- your yiayia owns the hens
- when someone close to you dies, you wear black for a whole year or more
- You were as tall as yiayia by the age of seven
- you've seen, touched, taken a picture with or fed a goat
- you can tell who a person is by looking at their car
- Immigration checks consist of "who is your dad and what does he do"
- everyone has illegal copies of all computer programs installed on their computer
- weddings are so big the guests have to come in shifts
- when you dont need facebook to find out other peoples' business!!
- u know ur in cyprus when girls stare at you up and down..
- when theres nothing 2 do at 3pm cos evry1 is asleep!
- You fight over who's going to pay the bill - but in reality you hate to pay
- You fight to pay the bill just
- even your 4-year old cousin can make a frappe by himself
- drivers just stop in their cars in the road to have a chat
- drivers toot their car horns for any reason imaginable
- it rains heavily for 2hrs and the streets are like rivers
- you know your in cyprus when your only
- ..your neighborhood kiosk (periptero) resembles a super market
- The church icons are covered in lipstick
- The priests drive either a pick-up truck or an Audi
- when there are half finished buildings everywhere
- when theres more cars than people are on the pavements
- when the kiosk price sign says:
- when the church has to approve the minister of education.
- when u land at larnaca airport, and everyone on ur plane starts clapping
- Your alarm clock is your neighbours shoutin at eachother from across the village
- when you land at the Airport and your phone tells you where you are
- when limassol's tourist area if full of guys who think
- when the groups of cypriot kids are wearing clothing that MATCHES
- When every cypriot is named after their grandfather or
- When everyone's surname is the same as their name "andreas andreou;
- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives
- They make sure they install every possible option in their car, even if it is a Yugo
- What can you do with a soldier .. that you cannot do
- The Greek bailout plan
- How the Cyprus bailout plan will work
- Every Cypriot Woman has at least One or